Why We Stopped Booking 'Relaxing' Holidays (And What We Do Instead)

By BabyTravel UK Editorial Team · Last updated March 2026

We used to be good at holidays. A week somewhere warm, a villa or a small hotel, nothing much planned beyond a few restaurants and the rough outline of a beach day. We came home tanned, rested, having read actual books. Then we had a baby and tried to do the same thing. That was our mistake.

The Old Way

Pre-baby, a holiday had a clear purpose: recharge. You left tired, you came back rested. The formula was simple — remove yourself from the environment generating the exhaustion, insert yourself into a more pleasant one, apply sun and food and the absence of responsibility. Repeat annually. It worked beautifully for years.

The holidays existed, fundamentally, around adult pleasure. Long morning lie-ins. Restaurant dinners that started after 8pm. Days structured entirely around what we felt like doing. The measure of a successful trip was simple: did we come home more rested than we left? By that measure, we were very good at holidays.

The First Baby Holiday

We booked a hotel. A nice one — proper sun loungers, a pool, a restaurant that had good reviews on every platform that had reviewed it. We'd read that babies were "so portable at this age" and allowed ourselves to believe this in the fullest possible sense. We imagined lounging by the pool while the baby slept contentedly in a shaded buggy. We imagined restaurant dinners, late enough to feel like our old life, the baby asleep in the pram beside the table.

What we got instead: a baby who woke at 5:15am every morning in a room with curtains that were, in the way of many hotel rooms, largely decorative. A pool that was fine for about twelve minutes before a meltdown that startled three separate couples into looking up from their books. A restaurant dinner that lasted exactly twenty-two minutes before we were walking circuits of the hotel car park, one of us bouncing the baby, the other eating cold bread alone at the table and not making eye contact with the waiter.

The "relaxing afternoon" we'd planned consisted of two hours in the room during the nap, followed by a walk around the same hotel garden we'd already walked around four times. By day three, we weren't relaxed. We were tired in a new location, which is a different thing, and slightly resentful of everyone around us who appeared to be on a normal holiday.

It felt like failure. It wasn't failure. It was the wrong framework.

The Realisation

The problem wasn't the baby. The problem wasn't even the hotel, particularly. The problem was that we were measuring the trip against a benchmark that no longer applied. We were scoring a different game using the rules of the old one — and then concluding we'd lost.

A holiday with a baby cannot be about relaxation in the pre-baby sense. That definition requires the absence of responsibility, and a baby is, definitionally, a responsibility that follows you to the pool. The question isn't "how do we get our old holidays back?" The question is "what does a good holiday actually look like now?"

It took us an embarrassingly long time to ask the second question. Once we did, things got considerably better.

What We Do Instead

We stopped booking "relaxing" holidays and started booking what I've come to think of as adventure holidays — not adventure in the extreme sense, but adventure in the sense of: something new, baby-paced, with built-in interest and without the pressure of an adult itinerary to live up to.

The specific changes:

Self-catering, always

We don't book hotels anymore. A self-catering cottage, a glamping site, a holiday park — anything where we control the schedule rather than the schedule controlling us. A kitchen means bottle prep at 4am without needing room service. A washing machine means the nappy blowout on day two isn't a catastrophe. A separate bedroom means the baby can be asleep at 7pm and we can sit in the living room like adults, rather than lying in the dark staring at our phones. Our guide to the best cottages for babies covers what to look for in a property — enclosed garden, stair gate, travel cot provision, washing machine — and which platforms do it well. Glamping with a baby is also genuinely brilliant if you haven't tried it: the novelty of the environment does half your entertainment planning for you.

One activity per day

We plan one thing. Not three. One walk, or one beach, or one farm visit, or one café we want to try. The rest of the day is unstructured time to fill as the baby dictates. This sounds like lowering the bar. It is lowering the bar. It is also, in practice, much more enjoyable than the alternative, which is an over-scheduled holiday that turns every journey into a logistics problem and every nap missed into a defeat.

Destinations with built-in novelty

We stopped choosing destinations that required activities to be entertaining and started choosing places with intrinsic interest: a beach, a forest, a farm, a lake. Somewhere that offers the baby something to look at and the adults something to exist in. For a structured environment that does much of the organisation for you, Centre Parcs with a baby is remarkably well set up — everything is within walking distance, the environment is safe and enclosed, and the activities scale from baby-friendly to adult-only in the evening.

Embracing early mornings

We gave up on lie-ins. Completely. Not grudgingly accepted their absence, but actually reframed them. A 5:30am baby in a coastal cottage means you're on the beach by 6:15, when the tide is usually in, the light is remarkable, the sand is empty, and the dog walkers nod at you with what feels like genuine solidarity. These are the mornings we talk about most when we get home. They aren't a consolation prize for the lie-in we couldn't have. They are actually better.

Pubs over restaurants

We stopped booking restaurants for dinner and started finding family-friendly pubs with beer gardens. The pub garden solves most of the evening meal problem: the outdoor setting means a baby's noise goes up rather than across, nobody minds if you pace around the perimeter with a grumpy infant, and the atmosphere is relaxed enough that nobody cares how long you stay or how many crumbs are on the floor. Our family pub guide has good ones across the UK — many also have rooms, which solves the accommodation problem at the same time.

Accommodation worth spending evenings in

The 7pm bedtime is non-negotiable with a baby, which means your evenings happen in the accommodation. We made peace with this by making sure the accommodation was somewhere we actually wanted to spend an evening. A cottage with a wood burner and a garden. A glamping pod with a hot tub. An Airbnb with a terrace and a decent sofa. The evening becomes part of the holiday rather than a concession to it. Keeping a loose version of your baby's routine on holiday is also worth reading before you go — the right sleep environment in the right accommodation makes everything else easier.

The Result

Our holidays are shorter now. Three or four nights rather than a week. They're simpler — fewer restaurants, fewer plans, fewer expectations. They're cheaper, because a cottage in Wales costs less than a hotel in Majorca and we spend less trying to fill a structured itinerary. And they are, without any real contest, better.

Not better in the way that a good review is better than a bad one. Better in a different category entirely. We come home from these trips with something we didn't have before — a shared memory of a specific morning, a specific moment, a specific version of our family that only existed on that beach at that hour. These aren't the highlights of our annual holiday any more. They are the holiday. Our first holiday with a baby guide sets up the practical expectations honestly, and the rest of our baby travel essentials hub is built around this same philosophy: trips designed around your actual family, not around who you were before.

BabyBjörn Travel Cot Light

The sleep setup that makes self-catering work

If self-catering is the right format for baby holidays — and we think it is — a travel cot you trust is the foundation it's built on. The BabyBjörn Travel Cot Light folds flat into its own carry bag, sets up in under two minutes, and gives a genuinely comfortable sleep surface rather than the thin-mattressed compromise of most alternatives. It's on the premium end, but for something your baby sleeps in every night of every trip, the cost is worth it.

• ✅ Sets up and folds away in under 2 minutes — no instruction manual required
• ✅ Proper mattress thickness — comfortable enough for extended stays
• ✅ Fits in most car boots without drama
• ❌ Premium price — around £230, significantly more than budget alternatives
• ❌ Heavier than the very lightest pop-up cots — not ideal for flying

Around £220–£240 on Amazon

View on Amazon

Tommee Tippee Grobag 3.5 Tog Sleeping Bag

The familiar sleep cue that travels with you

The sleeping bag is the item that makes an unfamiliar cottage feel like home to a baby — because it smells right, feels right, and signals bedtime the same way it does at home. The Grobag 3.5 tog is our pick for UK self-catering trips, where cottage temperatures vary wildly between warm days and cool nights. Pop it in a sealed bag when packing to preserve the home scent. Small detail, significant sleep impact.

• ✅ 3.5 tog suits cool UK cottage evenings even in summer
• ✅ Familiar scent from home is a powerful sleep cue in new environments
• ✅ Machine washable — essential on holiday
• ❌ Too warm for hot climates — use a lower tog abroad
• ❌ Sizing runs specific to weight, not age — check the guide before buying

Around £25–£35 on Amazon

View on Amazon

Frequently Asked Questions

Can holidays with a baby ever actually be relaxing?

Relaxing in the pre-baby sense — lie-ins, long lunches, uninterrupted reading — no. But a different kind of calm is possible: the stillness of an early morning beach, the ease of a cottage with no schedule, the particular peace of a baby asleep on your chest while you sit outside with a drink. It requires redefining what you're looking for.

What type of holiday works best with a baby?

Self-catering — cottage, glamping, holiday park — consistently works better than hotels for most families with babies. You control the schedule, have a kitchen for bottle prep, a washing machine for the inevitable mess, and separate sleeping space so evenings aren't spent in the dark from 7pm. Our cottages guide and holiday park vs cottage guide cover the options in detail.

Should I try to keep my baby's routine on holiday?

A loose version of it, yes. You don't need to replicate every element exactly, but protecting the big sleep anchors — particularly the night sleep environment — makes a huge difference to how everyone feels on day three. Our guide to keeping your baby's routine on holiday explains which elements matter most and which you can relax.

How do I stop feeling guilty that holidays with a baby aren't what they used to be?

Stop measuring them against the same benchmark. Pre-baby holidays were designed around rest and adult pleasure. Baby holidays are designed around togetherness, novelty, and your baby experiencing the world for the first time. Neither is better in an absolute sense. They're just different seasons of the same life.

Is it worth going abroad with a baby or should I stick to the UK?

Both work, for different reasons. UK self-catering removes the passport, insurance, and airport logistics while still giving you a genuine change of scene. Abroad gives you warmth and novelty. For a first trip, many families find a UK cottage or glamping stay the lowest-stress introduction. Our UK vs abroad first holiday guide weighs up the options honestly.

What destinations work well for a baby-paced adventure holiday?

Anywhere with built-in novelty that doesn't require activities to be interesting: a beach, a forest, a farm, a lake. In the UK, Cornwall, the Lake District, Pembrokeshire, and the Norfolk coast all work well. For a structured environment that does much of the planning for you, Centre Parcs is hard to beat for families with babies.

How do I find family-friendly accommodation that's actually good?

Look for self-catering properties that explicitly mention enclosed gardens, travel cots, stair gates, and washing machines. Call ahead and ask specific questions — don't rely on the listing alone. Platforms like Sykes Holiday Cottages and Hoseasons have filters for baby-friendly features. Our best cottages for babies guide covers what to look for.

When does travelling with a baby get easier?

Each stage has its own logic. The newborn stage (0–4 months) is often easier than expected — babies are portable and sleep a lot. The 9–14 month window can be trickier as they become mobile but aren't yet reasoned with. By around 18 months, most toddlers are genuinely engaged with new environments and starting to express real enjoyment. It keeps evolving.

The Permission Slip

If your last holiday with a baby felt like a disaster — if you came home more tired than you left, quietly convinced you'd done it wrong — you probably hadn't. You were most likely measuring it against a standard it was never going to meet. Lower the bar for relaxation. Raise it for togetherness. Embrace the 6am beach and the pub garden and the cottage evening with the baby asleep on your chest. These chaotic, imperfect, early trips are the ones you'll talk about longest. The holidays will get easier. Keep going.